Magpies.

Australians are used to the surrounding wildlife seeking them harm. It's somewhat of a joke around here: with the unforgiving bushland, increasingly common great white shark attacks, deadly jellyfish, poisonous spiders and snakes, and many other aggressive animals, it seems everything is out to get you. I knew all about these threats, and figured it just wouldn't be that big of a deal. But there has been an animal which has not only disrupted my very way of life, but has paralyzed me with fear. It's the magpie.

The Australian Magpie is a bird, similar in size to a crow, and just as common as crows around here. Most of the time, magpies are no problem, just another bird. But during their nesting season, which usually lasts around 6 weeks in spring (September-November), many magpies are extremely aggressive and territorial - towards other animals and humans alike. If one gets too close to an aggressive magpie's nest, (appropriate distances seem to be subject to the magpie's discretion, varying from underneath their tree to several yards away) the magpie will often react with a warning call and a swoop. Their swoops can be incredibly harmful (notice the beak in the picture below!) and have even blinded some as they tend to go for the head.

Magpie.

I knew their nesting season was approaching, but wasn't sure when exactly it would start, so as I would see magpies on my morning jogs, I'd just be very weary of them, generally avoiding trees as much as I could. And for a while, they were no problem. I quickly grew more comfortable when I would see them, just being sure to keep my distance. Then, it happened. Jogging along a popular track where the trees seemed to be far enough away to be safe, I was swooped. I wasn't even sure what happened or where he came from, as this magpie didn't find it necessary to give me a warning call, but silently made its decent and flew right across my ear. swoop.

I was shaken up, but it didn't hit me, so I thought, 'Ok. At least I know what they do now. That wasn't so bad. Just keep running and get out of its territory.'

Over the next few days, I continued to be swooped in the same area, and I assume by the same magpie. But I would go through that area twice each run, once on the way out and then again on my way back in, and he would only swoop for me on the way out. So I thought, 'Ok, I can handle this. In a few weeks it will be fine.'

Then I brought the dog.

Now, I don't know if it was because I brought Porthos the dog with me or because perhaps the magpie's eggs have hatched, making him ultra-aggressive. But as Porthos and I made our way through this same area, he came for us. swoop. Porthos realized he was coming before I did, and started to get nervous, so after the initial swoop I tried to keep him calm and picked up the pace to get out of the territory as quickly as we could. swoop. TWO swoops! I was really starting to freak out at this point, I didn't know they would go after you again and again. swoop. swoop. swoop. It was a full-fledged attack. We were in a full-on sprint, just trying to get as far away as we could. I really wish I could somehow get video of what this must have looked like to any onlookers. I wasn't sure of an alternative route to get back to the house, so on our way back we crossed the street, keeping up the pace as we approached the territory, though I was sure that we were far enough away that the magpie probably wouldn't even notice us. swoop. swoop. Apparently not. By this time I wasn't just scared, I was angry.

The next day I went out again, this time leaving sweet Porthos at home. I figured I might get swooped once, but surely not more than that since I was traveling solo. Wrong again. swoop. swoop. swoop. swoop. swoop. Thankfully I had a map on my ipod which I used to find another route home.

After that I decided to take matters into my own hands. I began to research how to deal with swooping magpies. The most encouraged suggestion, repeated on every list I could find as the #1 strategy is as follows: Avoid magpies' territories altogether until their nesting season is over. Great.

There are other strategies though, especially if you are forced to cross an aggressive magpie's territory regularly. My favorites are (found from this handy list):

- Put craft eyes on the back of your hat - magpies are less likely to attack if they think you are looking at them.

- Convert an ice cream container into a hat - the plastic covering will offer more protection than a cloth hat.

- Attach a steel nut to a piece of string and swing it around your head like a helicopter.

- Walk away quickly, but do not run. Running only serves to aggravate them more. (I wish I could have known that earlier!)

- 'Have a heart' - remember that these birds are 'highly intelligent,' 'family-loving,' and 'elegant,' with an 'uplifting birdsong.'


Call it vanity, but I don't think I'll be trying the ice cream container or helicopter suggestions. I guess I'll just work on that last suggestion and look forward to swoop-free jogs in a few weeks.